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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26744173">without a doubt, you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearltiare/pseuds/pearltiare'>pearltiare</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cardcaptor Sakura</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, M/M, Pining, all lowercase, gay dorks, i hope i spelled that right, i will carry the touyuki tag on my back if i have to, im gonna try to get this done before maintenance starts, space between punctuation, takes place during the clow card arc, touyuki needs more fics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:16:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,501</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26744173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearltiare/pseuds/pearltiare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>touya tries to rationalize his feelings for his classmate in every way he possibly can, and yet, nothing seems to help. it seems as if those feelings are chasing him, never leaving, yet he learns to deal with them properly. now, all he needs to do is tell the actual subject of his affection about them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kinomoto Touya/Tsukishiro Yukito</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>without a doubt, you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi y'all i'm trying to get this finished before maintenance hits, if i can't well i'm fucked. enjoy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>ding, ding, ding, d-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>the loud, and very annoying sound of touya's alarm ceased as he pressed the 'stop' button. he rolled up out of bed with a heavy sigh, and down the hallway could hear the much longer sound of another alarm clock. it seemed sakura wasn't awake quite yet. touya made his way over to the bathroom to brush his teeth, brush his hair, change into his uniform, wash his face, then possibly splash cold water onto it. the boy was certainly groggy this morning, maybe staying up studying for finals until two in the morning wasn't such a good idea. oh well, it wasn't until tomorrow, anyways, he'd just begin studying as soon as he got home from school that evening. he heard a loud pair of feet thumping down the stairs, followed by a,</p><p> </p><p>"good morning, dad !"</p><p> </p><p>as he was patting his face dry, he rolled his eyes. ugh. as much as he loved sakura, he wished she could be a little quieter sometimes. he made his own way downstairs to grab a plate of breakfast, and for the most part scrolled through social media, seeing what his classmates and old friends were up to today. not much, it seemed, since his feed was rather dry across all platforms. oh well, it was finals week after all, it makes sense for people to not be super active on social media. touya placed the dishes in the sink, then went to the doorstep to put his shoes on.</p><p> </p><p>"i'm going to school, i'll see you later."</p><p> </p><p>"what ? already ? touya, you've been going to school early a lot lately !"</p><p> </p><p>"so what ? it's not your business, miss."</p><p> </p><p>that was followed by a groan from his younger sister, and he opened the door to grab his bike and ride to the corner yukito was always waiting for him at- every single day, without fail. he hopped onto the seat and began peddling, at first only thinking of his classes for the day. touya did all of his homework the previous night, he had studied well, he didn't drop or pick up any classes- at least, not that he could remember, so why was he stressing ? this was just another day for him, and he never really paid any mind to it. maybe he had taken a wrong turn and that's why he was worried; but he looked up from the road, and he was on the right path, so what was going on ? touya kinomoto was <em>not </em>the anxious type, especially when he had nothing to be anxious over. or so he thought.</p><p> </p><p>as soon as he turned onto that corner and a pair of gentle, brown eyes greeted him, he began connecting the dots. shit. it wasn't like he was going to deny that he had some thoughts and feelings towards his classmate that may not exactly be platonic, but what was the problem with that ? friends can have romantic thoughts about each other, they can want to run off into the sunset with them in a spring field, or go on a late night joyride to nowhere in particular, holding each other to distract themselves from the speed of the vehicle- but that was normal, wasn't it ? sure, touya may freeze up when yukito steps close to him and their shoulders touch, or instantly melt whenever he takes his glasses off to clean them, but it wasn't something to be too concerned about. so why, why in the hell was he so stressed, so worried ?</p><p> </p><p>"touya, are you okay ? you look a little tired."</p><p> </p><p>the boy gripped his bike handles, and nodded.</p><p> </p><p>"yeah, i just didn't sleep well last night. i'll be fine. we'd better get going."</p><p> </p><p>yukito responded by climbing onto his bike, then setting off towards tomoeda high school. touya soon followed after, and hoped to god that whatever this thing was that was disturbing his inner peace would die out. it was nice, the feeling of having such a close friend, but touya couldn't fathom the thought that possibly, he wanted to be more than his friend. it seemed even less likely that yukito would want the same. people have crushes, it happens, it's normal. but they stay crushes, and eventually they cease to exist. they're just pure infatuation, and very temporary, unlike love. touya also hoped to god that he wasn't in love.</p><p> </p><p>upon arriving at the gates, he heard overlapping chatter, music over someone's cell phone speaker, and students running around the front entrance. it seemed everyone had the same idea as the pair today, arriving early to warm up for today's planned quizzes. quizzes one day, finals the next, tomoeda was definitely burning these kids out. oh well, it's not like touya couldn't nap for as long as he wanted to once it was over with. well, maybe he couldn't, but he only had to think about that if sakura were to be home, and she lucky for him, his sister was going on a class trip for the weekend. the house to himself and his father could definitely be nice, and it was much needed. the two sat down on the steps leading up to the door, to which yukito pulled a granola bar out of his pocket. typical yuki, always eating, especially during school (or right before school) hours. it's not like the boy next to him really cared, though.</p><p> </p><p>with a mouth full of food, the boy spoke up,</p><p> </p><p>"do you think you're ready for finals yet ?"</p><p> </p><p>touya slipped his hands into his blazer pockets and simply shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>"i guess so. i mean, i've been studying a lot, so i think i'm prepared."</p><p> </p><p>he was met with a gentle smile from yukito. <em>god, stop that, please, </em>his classmate thought, but yet, there's no way in hell he wanted him to stop. to him, there seemed to be nothing in this world more grand, more amazing and stunning than yukito's smile. so gentle, so lighthearted, and so, so seemingly carefree. it never failed to make touya feel all warm and fuzzy inside, especially not this time around.</p><p> </p><p>"that's good to hear ! i've been pretty behind on studying.. but i think i'll be okay, i get good grades in the actual classes, you know ? if i already know the information, i may not need to study. i guess i'll find out once i get the results."</p><p> </p><p>touya only chuckled. their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the bell ringing, and students rushing towards the door to get inside. his legs seemed heavy after sitting down on such an uncomfortable surface for quite a few minutes, but he grabbed his bag and walked through the doors, up the stairs and to his classroom to begin proofreading his notes, checking if he needed to make any new ones, and going back over his textbooks. these feelings, though, this anxiety, it seemed to follow him around, no matter how fast he rode his bike, no matter how many purposeful backtracks and wrong turns he took, no matter how quickly he walked through the hallways or doorways or streets. it seemed like a restless child almost, desperate for someone to play with, constantly shouting at him, yet never seeming to slow down.</p><p> </p><p>yet, it seemed the worst when he was still, especially when he was in bed, <em>especially </em>when it was past his self-assigned bedtime. every time the boy closed his eyes, all he could see was yukito, all he could hear was the sound of his voice calling his name, telling him good morning, tutoring him for something he already understood; just played dumb. the intensity of this crush, this infatuation seemed so much louder, screeching almost when it was late at night, and to be completely honest, touya tried to run from them. for a very, very, very long time.</p><p> </p><p>but now, as he was placing his bags down and sitting down at his assigned desk, it hit him like a bag of rocks that these feelings were so persistent and loud, because they weren't just some odd, silly high school infatuation. they weren't temporary at all, and they certainly wouldn't go away, even if they were crushed and pushed out by the boy. it seemed so clear now just how much he had been in denial, and how stupid he was to have not realized it sooner. he was in love with yukito tsukishiro, and he had been for a long time. it was that simple, yet that difficult, accepting it seemed utterly impossible to touya. what if yukito had his eye on someone else, perhaps a girl ? what if he wasn't interested in a relationship with anyone at all ? what if he thought touya was strange for having feelings for him, and cut ties ? what if his family disapproved, what if he liked him back, but it just wasn't possible for them to be together right now ? would romance ever even occur to him, or was he not interested in a relationship ever ? would he turn him down, cut him off, move away, dump him-<em> woah there, touya, you can't think about him dumping you when you aren't even dating yet.</em></p><p> </p><p><em>yet ? </em>what the hell did that mean ? for one, touya wasn't sure he liked using that word in this context, and when given second thought, he was absolutely certain he didn't like using that word in this context. he leaned his head forward quickly and let it hit the desk gently, quietly groaning to himself. he could only hope to keep it hidden well, especially from yukito. being in love was nice, sure, but yukito was most likely not in love with him in return, or at least wouldn't admit he was. or want to be in a relationship. he dug his hands into his hair and tugged at it for a moment. god, why didn't the movies, television shows, or books ever talk about this part of being in love ? why was it only portrayed as some lovely, ethereal feeling that only came once in a lifetime ? it seemed so annoying to touya, like an itch he couldn't scratch. ugh. </p><p> </p><p>and yet, the rest of that day seemed so... blurry, for some reason. what was up with this ? why was touya in such a dazed state almost, why was he so distracted, why was he catching himself staring at a certain silver-haired classmate so often ? it seemed like the universe was setting him up for humiliation, and god, as much as he wanted these feelings to just go away, something told him that he would eventually have to tell him. it wasn't fair to himself, and it certainly wasn't fair to yukito. nobody wants to be in a friendship where the other person is being dishonest with them, especially about where they stand in their relationship. he wasn't so sure about yuki, but touya was certainly the type that liked to be on the same page with all of his friends.</p><p> </p><p>the bike ride home was mostly filled with silence and contemplation. yukito had something to attend to after school, he didn't say what, but it's not like he never skipped out on biking home with the boy before. he was just the type of person who didn't like to overshare, that was all. but still, the thought of him being with some other guy, or some girl, maybe, plagued touya's mind. when he arrived home, he headed straight upstairs (after taking his shoes off), and sat down on his bed. god, he felt stupid, and he felt so gullible for believing that there was any possible way that touya only had a stupid, childish crush. it always had to go so... unexpectedly for him, didn't it ? but whatever the circumstance, he knew that the right thing to do was to tell yukito. the question was when.</p><p> </p><p>beside a few awkward seconds of eye contact and some quick 'hello's, touya mostly ignored yukito for the next couple of days. he decided to just drive to school, it's not like he could never take the car, and he would stay to himself mostly. to run and hide was his instinct, and sure, he knew he had to tell the boy about his feelings, but there wasn't some rule stating a deadline. although, he partly wished there was. life would be so much easier if there were just some handbook he was given at birth to help him navigate, develop relationships, and avoid failure. but unfortunately, he was on his own, so this would be much more tough. home, school, work, back home, and the cycle repeated. was it ideal ? not at all, and sakura had begun to worry and ask about him, but he didn't see any other way to get through this. he'd tell yukito. he would eventually. he didn't know when eventually was, but he would do it. for sure. it was always him. without a doubt, him.</p><p> </p><p>and yet, on a quiet sunday evening, he heard a rhythmic knocking at his door.</p><p> </p><p>"i'll get it !"</p><p> </p><p>he heard sakura announce, soon followed by the sound of the door unlocking and being swung open.</p><p> </p><p>"oh, yukito ! what are you doing here ?"</p><p> </p><p>followed by a pause, and touya's heartbeat quickening. he heard his voice, but couldn't make out what exactly was being said.</p><p> </p><p>"touya ! yukito wants to talk to you !"</p><p> </p><p>sakura yelled up the stairs. he let out a long, drawn out sigh, before responding,</p><p> </p><p>"send him up."</p><p> </p><p>he waited in his bedroom for the boy to sit down next to him on his bed, and soon enough, he did. he twiddled with his thumbs and tapped his feet for a bit before he turned to face touya and speak.</p><p> </p><p>"touya, i.. you've been avoiding me for these past few days, and i'm really worried. if i've done something wrong, please tell me, i really don't want you to be mad at me or anything. you're such a good friend to me, and i.. don't want to lose you."</p><p> </p><p>those words made touya's chest feel tighter. god, this wasn't what he meant at all, he would never want to worry yuki or give him the wrong impression- but he just had to go and screw everything up, didn't he ? if it weren't now, he wouldn't say them ever, so he quickly said words that he thought could never escape his mouth,</p><p> </p><p>"yukito, i love you."</p><p> </p><p>"i love you too, touya."</p><p> </p><p>he sighed, and crossed his arms.</p><p> </p><p>"no, yukito, you don't understand. i love you. like in the movies."</p><p> </p><p>yukito only responded with a small smile, and whispered,</p><p> </p><p>"i hoped you'd say that."</p><p> </p><p>touya felt himself being pulled into a gentle embrace, and he sunk in. god, this was nice, he really, really regretted ignoring him for all that time now. yet he asked, with his head buried in the boy's shoulder,</p><p> </p><p>"may i kiss you ?"</p><p> </p><p>"go ahead."</p><p> </p><p>and so he lifted his head up, to close the distance between them.</p>
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